Mental Health Monday

Hi Friends!

I open this by sending you so much love. I am so thankful you are here – your support means the world to me! I hope that I am delivering valuable content to you. (Please let me know what you would love to see more of!)

Times are tough right now y’all. We are all experience unprecedented challenges, uncertainty, and a mix of emotions. Many families are losing money due to less work. Many homes have a lot more occupants for a lot more hours each day. Families are worried about getting sick and paying bills. People are apprehensive about reliable sources of information and how plans are changing. We may find ourselves asking questions like “Is this for real?” and “When will life go back to normal.”

You are not alone. YOU (yes, each one of your reading this) ARE NOT ALONE. Please remember that. Social distancing can make us feel isolated – in fact, it’s kind of meant to, but that absolutely does not mean you are alone. Anxiety, stress, tension, and fear are running high right now. Even the best coping mechanisms are put to the test when a pandemic is upon us.

I want to share a quick story here… Anxiety for me became real after my dad died (2 years ago now… see my Instagram or Facebook post about it). I was coping in ways that seemed 100% appropriate to me. I was still having a hard time. It wasn’t that I was sad all the time or couldn’t stop crying. I felt a sense of numbness, an inability to organize my life, a fog or haze that I was floating through. I was holding it together enough to go to work, to put on a smile in front of people, but I was falling apart each day at home, I was isolating myself, and I was full of a constant state of turmoil. I had, what felt like, zero ability to communicate my needs or the changes I was feeling to my husband. It got really bad one day. I don’t even remember how it started or the fight we got into, but I remember leaving. I drove around, for an hour or so I think. I turned off my phone. I was angry, sad, confused, and I did not at all feel like I was in control of my emotions. My mom, husband, and best friend had all suggested that I should consider speaking to a therapist, but, as I said, I thought what I felt was normal. In that moment I decided maybe I should just go see the therapist, ya know, to make sure it was all okay. I didn’t want to lose important relationships because I am stubborn and scared. I saw a therapist (who I had seen previously, so we did have a relationship already.) She did confirm that what I was feeling was normal and appropriate. She also gave me some tools to help process how I was feeling so I could communicate that to others. This was a HUGE turning point for me.

It’s for sure not the “normal” presentation of anxiety (and definitely mixed with some depression), but the point I really wanted to drive home was that I (and frankly society) didn’t think as much of my emotion because it was “normal” for the circumstances. Right now, it’s normal to be anxious, confused, scared, depressed – frankly, whatever you are feeling is probably kind of normal… but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with. You can still be upset and bitter that plans change. You can still feel like you are needing some help. Lean on each other!

What can you do? You can reach out to friends — FaceTime, Skype, text, email, phone call — send a letter or card. You can check in with your friends and online communities. You can step away from social media as needed and be diligent about your consumption. My rule of thumb (especially right now) is “If it makes me have ANY negative emotion, UNFOLLOW” — I don’t try to justify, reason, or shame myself for this decision. Read books, listen to podcasts, watch movies or TV shows. Play board games, do puzzles, create art (check out my friend Danielle’s free class!) It’s okay if life is slow right now – allow yourself rest. In times of stress, our bodies need more rest (whether that is sleep, meditation, enjoying nature, or a slow cup of coffee or tea). Move your body — find online workout or dance classes (lots of videos on YouTube), go for a walk or jog (if this is safe in your community), get some sunshine on your skin, sand in your toes, find a beautiful flower, or make a snowball! Give yourself grace, lots and lots of grace — and extend that to others as much as you can. Compassion is so important during these times. Please don’t shame others for how they are feeling or what they are doing. Consider how you can help small business owners that you know (more on this later in the week – got something up my sleeve). Any local business that you frequent – consider buying a gift certificate from them. This will help to support them during this time of reduced or no income.

And take care of your mental health. Please try to do this in healthy ways. I know it’s hard and we sometimes want to soothe with things that aren’t healthy – negative self talk, alcohol, excess/no eating – but my prayer is that you can make at least some decisions each day that are good for you. We all need you and want you to feel your best. My door is always open.

If you are interested, my friend Stephy (@theanxious.baker) started a hashtag #bakemestigmafree over on Instagram. It is a place that you can find beautiful cakes, vulnerable stories, and community. We hope that it helps to open the talk about mental health. Anxiety isn’t the only mental health condition that people face — and definitely not the only one we may see rearing it’s head during these times. Times of stress make everything a bit rocky and unstable. Just know that whatever you are feeling is okay – and I think the community around this movement will help you to see that.

Alrighty, I hope this gives you a reminder that you are not alone, a reminder to reach out, and some ideas on how to help you cope if you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or out of control. I am sending so much love to everyone. I am here for you.

You are enough. You are strong. You are brave. You are worthy.

xoxo, Gretchen